But I'm totally already over it! I told you it would pass. but it still felt amazing at the time. so yeah ....I suppose I should fill the rest of you in ....Last night for the first time in months I was giddy and excited. Over a stupid thing ...a boy...but the point of the matter is I was excited and happy about something once again. It felt so good. Now this said boy is really not stupid ..he just doesnt know I exist but thats okay.... I was going to feel bad about gushing to Lynns but then I was like no ...this is stupid. its just a silly crushy moment ....one of which I havn't had since Dierks Bentley ....(hey a girl can dream can't she) well anyway I knew it wasn't going to become anything but it was nice to think of the possibilities. I got thinking last night while walking that in the last few months ive become (scratch that ..I BECAME) the most depressing, unhappy, joy lacking person I have ever encountered. And I realized I don't want to live that way ...No matter how bad life is ...it can always get worse so be thankful to be alive anyway...I just couldnt see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had some really dark glasses on...seriously I scared myself. now, I'm not back to the completely bubbly person I was before but I'm on my way. These things take time..I can't just sleep on it and be done with it. I gotta work through it ..but I will and I am ..and thats good enough for the time being. I just feel like writing and writing but this would be a longer more boring blog than it already is ....plus I'm going to try to stick to just one subject so the rest of this will have to wait for another blog ..but thats okay ..then I can narrow down the thoughts ...anyway the point of this blog was to just say how nice it was to be happy again...like just stupidly, pure and simply happy. Even if it was for the most stupid and immature of reasons...I know Lynnsey was thinking good greif woman get ahold of yourself and shut up ....but even in spite of that i know she was thouroghly entertained by my ramblings and most likely happy that I'm no longer just sitting and stewing in my unhappiness. so thanx for letting me ramble Lynns and don't worry tonight there will be no talk of boys....unless to devise our evil scheme to convice Grant hes acutally crazy ..but we can work that out later....okay ...I'm done now I think ..at least for this hour. thanx for listening ....and do comment....or just say hi ..that would be cool too ...oh yeah and if you have myspace please add me...Im still a little computer illiterate when it comes to those thingers ..so go ahead and add me friends...ill have pictures up soon.... www.myspace.com/missnormarenee okey dokey ...okay....yeah ...i had to use my real name becuase norma jean was already taken ...apparently its a band...Im not sure ..i should look into that ...or if any of you have info please feel free to share. but yeah ...anyway add me and have a great evening if I'm not talking to you again .....heres to being happy!
Love Norma
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Thats how many hours I put in this weekend and 6 is the number of hours I slept. And man alive it takes its toll on my poor body.. every muscle for sure is aching and even some of my bones....mostly in my feet, legs and back...but get this ..the surprising bit of it all is that I don't really feel bad ...I oddly enough feel good...and healthy. LIke no pain no gain. its strange to me to actually have some amount of energy again. I'm really excited to go to Israel and I know its going to be worth all the maga hours I've been putting in in order to pay for it, but sometimes I just wonder "is it really going to be worth it?" or am I just trying to convince myself. Like am I going to be completely worn out by the time May rolls around and be too tired to enjoy myself. But then common sense takes over and as long as I have anything to do about it then I will definately enjoy the trip. im not being stupid about this and working like a dog on the assurance "that GOd will restore my health and sleep" and all that. I've learned the hard way thats not always the case. So I'm the only one that can make this happen. I know my limits. I know when I need to slow down ....and unfortunately nows the time when I can afford it the least. But like I said everything will be fine. I had today off which was super nice. I slept alot (well alot for me ...6 consecutive hours and then a 2 hour nap on the couch ...mmm i love naps...anyway) ... now I'm going to walk downtown and look at the new pets and get the mail. Fresh air always makes me feel good. ...especially when it's going to rain...and its definately going to rain before the day is over. And pets...well theyre just so darn cute you'd have to be really cold hearted to not feel good after holding a puppy. well thats all for now. later. EnJay
link | posted by Norma Jean at 3:00 PM0 comments
will I ever be healthy again ...this time around i just cant seem to shake it....i think its the stress of being broke....i know i know ..i said i wasnt stressing...my mind isnt really i guess. but my subconcious is making my body sick from it i guess...I don't know...it'll be fine....ive got another job...i'll be okay ....and i mean i guess if all else fails i can tell passa lyle to not cash my cheque and try to sell my ticket to someone else.....no ...im not gonna think like that ...I guess my only stress factor is right now im havign serious issues with my visa...it wont let me transfer funds...which is totally bazzare because i still have like 11 or 12 hundred remaining credit....so i just dont understand...but it must be for a reason...maybe GOd is blessing me and not letting me transfer the money cuz there is a check in the mail and he knows how much i hate paying unnecesary interest on my account....highly unlikely...but ya never know...it'll all work out ...if not ..ill just go jump off a bridge....dont worry ..its just an empty threat cuz there are no bridges in kindersley....okay well..thats it from me..if any of yas are in a praying mood you could pray that the funds come in and that my health is restored...thanx muchly ......nighty night i work at 6 so i need sleep. Love EnJay
link | posted by Norma Jean at 9:30 PM1 comments